Summer Update

A request has come in to make sure I get out some updates of our summer so far before the big day of Aleck’s hip surgery on August 29th.  We’ve confirmed that the hospital will fit us with a harness system for Aleck for the car while he has his cast on and I’ve heard word that a bean bag chair has been ordered so hopefully we’ll have that before we go into the hospital.  In the meantime,  I’m a lucky Persin.  If I haven’t mentioned it before one of our good friends is a pediatric orthopedic surgeon and after my last post he called to talk me down off the walls.  Letting me know that the numbers (aka degrees of bending) only mean so much and that Aleck doesn’t necessarily need a 120 bend in his knees in order to walk.  Now, he may need a taller toilet so he doesn’t have to squat so far down, but toilets I can definitely handle.  Why I didn’t call this friend before letting my insides eat away at my nerves, I don’t know, but I’m lucky that he cares enough to pick up the phone during a busy work day and make sure I’m not a total wreck.

Aaaaah.  Am I total wreck?  That’s a really good question.  When we lost our baby the social worker came to visit us in the hospital and she gave us a cheat sheet of things to watch in each other to make sure we were keeping our heads together.  Do we shower everyday?  Well, almost everyday, maybe I skip a day once a week, so that’s a check.  Are we eating?  Have you seen us lately?  We both are very soft in the middle…so that’s another check.  I make my bed everyday, I put on clothing and sometimes even make-up.  We go shopping, we go to the park, we have playdates, we get together with people socially, I’ve even slept through a movie or two.  So I’d say we are doing just fine.  And honestly, that’s all I can ask for right now.  Are we 100% happy?  No, but really, who is?  Is it hard to hang with other babies?  Of course, but we all need the playdate so why not just try to embrace the company.  And is it hard to hang with my friends who were pregnant when I was during the first pregnancy?  Of course it is.  But there’s no way I’m cutting these people out of our lives.  They are too important and their children are too important, and we want to watch them grow up as well, be a part of their worlds.  Basically, if I was to cut out every encounter that was painful, I wouldn’t have many friends left.  I’d probably have two single girlfriends and that’s about it.  Life doesn’t stop just because we’ve experienced tragedy, and we can’t stop doing the things we do, seeing our friends, supporting their kids, because it reminds us of our tragedy.  This is our life and we just need to keep moving through it, one step at a time.

A friend of mine posted this article that was picked up by the Huffington Post.  It’s a quick read, but it really spoke to me.  A good way for others to understand what we are dealing with on a day to day basis.  Please take a minute to read it, I think it can shed some insight and show you that I fit right in with other moms like me out there.  Eventually I’d like to come up with my own list to add to this one, but for now, this will suffice.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/maria-lin/special-needs-parenting_b_1314348.html

In other news we have a little fish on our hands, and I don’t mean a Fish Zhao (my cousin). Aleck has been in the pool about 5 times and yesterday he finally started to kick in the pool, our main goal in getting him into the pool as much as possible.  Our PT thinks this is the best thing for him and he seems to love it.  Plus with how hot it’s been, we are not going to the park as much anymore and one can only stay inside on so many summer days.

But tonight’s top story, Aleck said his first official word, “Mamma”.  Unofficial words were “Yeah” and “Woah”, only heard once and never heard again.  Aleck has been working up to this as he looked at me during PT on Tuesday and said, “Ma”.  Tonight, however, he looked at Craig when he said, “Mamma”, so I’m not really sure where this is going.  One thing I do know, once he figures out that he knows how to ask for me specifically, I’m in deep trouble.  Good thing he’s so flippin’ cute.